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Saint Greg’s Summer Movie Rankings

on
September 4, 2022

Since I watched all of these movies on the big screen this summer, let’s do this for a change of pace while I’m traveling back from New York. If a movie isn’t listed, I didn’t see it. Regrettably Paws of Fury is one I missed. If you haven’t seen Top Gun: Maverick and it’s still in your theater, you have to go see it before it leaves the theaters. It’s that good. Titles with * by them are ones I believe your experience would be enhanced by watching it in the movie theater.

 

1. Top Gun: Maverick***

I have been waiting on this movie for a couple years. It was worth the wait. I knew regardless of the story, the F-18 footage was going to be outstanding. And it was. But the story was good as well. It was funny. It had action. It took you as far as you could want the movie to take you, then it went further. It’s easily #1.

 

2. 3,000 Years of Longing*

I had no idea what this movie was about going into it. It’s about a genie and wishes but the genie tells stories about his thousands of years priors so there’s a lot more to it than it seems.

 

2. Bullet Train*

What a pleasant surprise! I wasn’t sure if this movie was going to be good or not but I loved it. It does have a good bit of very graphic violence. You are put into a situation with no back story and as the movie goes on you get bits and pieces of the story from each character. Then at the end it all comes together. I loved it.

 

3. Elvis

Elvis passed away before I was born, and I never really enjoyed any of his music. I suppose that’s why I never went out of my way to learn about him. I knew some things, but I had no clue he was stuck in a contract in Vegas and never did a world tour. This movie really told the story of the relationship between Elvis and his manager, and I enjoyed learning about it.

 

4. Thor 4: Love and War*

This is movie is at a disadvantage because I didn’t grow up with Thor as a superhero I knew. I haven’t seen any prior Thor movies. But removing any bias I may have this story and the graphics deserved this high rating.

 

5. Jurassic World: Dominion*

I think this movie is also at a bit of a disadvantage with me reviewing it because I haven’t seen all of the other Jurassic Park/World movies. I think I saw the first one. It seems that this one brought together the Jurassic Park cast with the Jurassic World cast and I think that would’ve made the movie even better for people who saw all of the movies.

 

6. Where the Crawdads Sing

This is the kind of movie I hate watching. It’s not funny. It’s not exciting. But at the end you have to say it was a good story. It was a good movie. It deserves to be ahead of the movies I have below it. I can see why some people would have this as their first or second best movie. If you love a drama, you’ll love this movie.

 

7. Minions: The Rise of Gru

This one was difficult to rank because it’s a kids movie and not as impressive as the movies above it. But I did find it funny. I did enjoy it. I hadn’t seen any minions prior to this but when they listed a one time screening of the original minions, I went to see it as well. The original was good, but I liked this one a lot more.

 

8. Beast*

This is basically an African safari gone wrong. It’s pretty limited to that. A family trying to survive a lion attack. But it is exciting, and I enjoyed it more than the movies below it.

 

9. Fall*

This movie definitely kept my attention. It was thrilling. But almost the entire movie takes place in a little 5-foot area. It is very much like “Open Water” at 2000 feet.

 

10. The invitation

This is a horror film. It’s your vampire movie.  But it’s not like your traditional vampire movies.

 

11. Orphan: First Kill

Another horror film. This is about an adult murderer who passes herself off as a child to get adopted by an unsuspecting family. 

 

12. The Black phone

There isn’t a whole lot to this movie. A kid is trapped in the basement of a serial killer and has to talk to ghosts on a phone to figure out how to escape without being killed. It isn’t a bad movie. It’s worth watching once. 

 

13. Easter Sunday

This is a comedy that is somewhat funny. There haven’t been many comedies out this summer. This would be the best of the ones that were out there, but I didn’t laugh that hard. Also contains karaoke.

 

14. Bodies Bodies Bodies

It’s a short movie and a slow starter. It’s a hurricane party that turns into a murder mystery and I laughed at the end.

 

15. DC Super Pets

As far as the kids movies go. This one was better than Light Year, but I like Minions a lot more.

 

16. Mack & Rita

I know it was supposed to be funny. I just didn’t think it was very funny. It is possible a female might enjoy the movie more than I did. I was the only person in the theater at the time so there was no audience reaction to gauge that.

 

17. Light Year

If you’re a kid and/or a fan of Light Year, you may enjoy this one. I am neither and I didn’t.

 

18. Nope

The title says it all. It was a boring movie. I didn’t think any movie would fall below Light Year. At least Light Year had the decency to end it after an hour and a half. This one went on for over two hours with no mercy.

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